I pretend to be a chemist, a student… but i can’t really stay here. I can’t stand the pain not being me. Sometimes it’s too hard. Looking into the darkness and wandering when I’ll be able to come back.
Sometimes I just think I shouldn’t have come here, but I can’t forget those months, your smile, and the colour of the water of the sensation of the sea on my skin.
I won’t send you our “help” signal. I can’t anymore. I keep drugging me with sci-fi series and pain. When the real life came back to take me I put my dreaming brain on ‘off’ but some odours, words or feelings keep teasing me with those memories. Those nights when it’s too hard to resist, I just lie on my bed and can’t stop crying, wishing I could die of dehydration…
I just want to go away and forget all of chemistry
I wish I could fly away
I’m broken now
Everyone I know is fighting to get back what they had. I’m fighting because I don’t know how to do anything else